I'm So Miserable Without You It's Almost Like Having You Here
-- Song title by Stephen Bishop.

She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft
-- Song title by Jerry Reed.

When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies' Room Will I Be Too Old to Care?
-- Song title by Lewis Grizzard.

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
-- Unattributed song title.

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goal Posts of Life
-- Unattributed song title.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
But it's very funny -- did you ever try buying them without money?
-- Ogden Nash

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